Gift Rules for Christmas (2024)

In this post: Gift rules for Christmas and the holidays for kids, families, adults, and friends, to help take the stress out of gift giving this year.

Gift Rules for Christmas: An Overview

The holiday season is on its way, and with it comes the joy—and often stress—of finding The Perfect Gift. Last minute shopping trips to Target, anyone? Sure, online shopping can minimize road rage for you at this time of year, but it doesn’t quite alleviate the age old dilemma: what on earth to buy your family and friends this year.

That’s why, to make gift-giving simpler and more meaningful, many families and friends now follow different “gift rules” to help reduce decision fatigue, stretch their budget, and provide a simple framework for shopping.

In this guide, we’ll share the most popular holiday gift rules, from the ever popular Four Gift Rule to more offbeat ideas to spark your imagination and simplify your holiday.

We’ll also share shopping suggestions, to help you find just the right gift for your loved ones.

So, try some of these Christmas gift rules to reduce your mental load and take the stress out of your shopping season this year!

My Family’s Christmas Gift Rules

Growing up, my Dad loved Christmas (still does!) As a special treat, he took us to the biggest malls in the richest neighborhoods of our region during December of each year, just to walk around and see the lights and decorations and ride the double-decker carousel we loved so much.

In fact, many of our holiday traditions centered around those grand shopping trips. We’d be given a small set budget we could spend on each person in our family, and we’d wander stores together.

It was honestly one of my favorite holiday traditions, outside of the two sacred Christmas gift rules in our family:

1. Each person could open ONE gift on Christmas Eve before bed (after reading the biblical Christmas Story and singing carols together). What that present could be varied from year to year; sometimes the parents got to choose, sometimes they let us kids pick one of the smallest gifts with our name on it, and sometimes my Dad just couldn’t wait another minute and insisted we open the BIG SURPRISE first.
   
2. We’d open presents one at a time as they were handed out to us … no rushing of the tree like feral children allowed. Honestly, because we always celebrated very simply and on a strict budget, I purposely savored watching everyone open theirs and opened my gifts slowly, to make it last just a little bit longer.

It’s fascinating to me to learn about other families’ gifting traditions. So, let’s jump in to the list, shall we?

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Christmas Gift Rules for Kids

Christmas gift giving rules for kids vary from family to family (that’s all part of the magic!) but at the heart, it breaks down to simply what kinds of presents parents give their kids versus what kinds Santa Claus brings.

Kids Christmas gift rules you can try this next holiday:

• Santa brings one big, exciting wished-for gift and stocking stuffers, but parents give the rest of presents.
  
  (Keep the magic alive by having Santa gift an item from their wish list!)
  
• Santa only brings small gifts and/or stocking stuffers and parents give items they know their kids really want.
  
  (Why should Santa get all the excitement and credit?!)
  
• Santa brings gifts in a single type of wrapping paper marked with each child’s name. Parents are VERY careful to use DIFFERENT wrapping paper on the gifts from them.
  
  (Pro tip: Don’t keep the Santa wrapping paper in the house where the kids can find it!)
  
• Santa brings unwrapped gifts; parents give wrapped presents.
  
  (Save on wrapping paper!)
  
• No Santa gifts, but stockings are fair game as early as you want to go get them … just don’t touch the presents under the tree until everyone is gathered.
  
  (For families that don’t “do Santa” for personal or religious reasons, but the parents want to sleep just a liiitttttle longer on Christmas morning. This was my own parents’ rule when I was growing up.)
  
• All kids get the same number (and/or value) of presents, to keep things feeling fair.
  
  (Tell me you’re a parent without telling me you’re a parent.)
  
• The popular “4 Gift Rule” (or some variation of it.) More about that below!
  
  (Sometimes just having a specific framework helps take the stress out of gift giving.)
  
• No physical presents, or just a few small presents from parents to have something to open on the day of, but go on a big family adventure over the holidays like a Christmas Disney cruise, a cross-country train ride, an extended family ski trip with one big cabin rental, or to a favorite or bucket-list destination.
  
  (A clutter-free gift giving idea perfect for older kids who are harder to shop for!)
  
• No surprises. Gifts are picked out by kids ahead of time, within family guidelines around type and price, and given at the arranged date.
  
  (For kids—or adults!—who struggle with surprises, experience anxiety about the social rules of gifting events, or worry about what to say or do if they don’t like the gift they receive, etc.
  
  The whole point of Christmas is to enjoy togetherness, give and receive, and celebrate. How each person feels most comfortable is unique to them; it is important to be inclusive about your approach if your family’s needs differ.)

And for kids gifting presents to each other and other family members:

• A set $ amount limit they may spend per person
• Drawing names from a hat
• Gifts to siblings only
• Gifts to siblings and parents/guardians or grandparents
• Homemade gifts to family members
• Personalized gifts to family members (handprints, etc.)

Christmas Gift Rules (By The Number!)

Shopping Suggestions

• Need: gear for a sport they play, supplies for a hobby they enjoy, gym membership
• Wear: a new jacket for winter, a favorite team’s jersey, or jewelry
• Read: a magazine subscription, new book from a favorite author, or a Kindle

What each of those categories includes is up to the gift giver and their family. For those who do Santa presents, but want their kids to know they got them something fun, for instance, they might relegate the “need” or “read” gift to Santa, while claiming the “want” gift for themselves. (I don’t blame them!)

Shopping Suggestions

• Want: that new toy they’ve been begging for every time you go to the store, tickets to their favorite artist’s current tour, the trendy water bottle that is the must-have in their social group

For couples giving gifts to each other, the concept is the same, but might be more personalized to the individual or use a broader definitions of each category. You could pay a utility bill for “need,” for instance, or gift jewelry to “wear” as some of the 5 gift rule ideas for adults.

Shopping suggestions

Something to create memories: For adults, this could be a weekend getaway, spa day voucher, a “from you to me” type book of questions to answer and save, or romantic date. For kids, tickets to the zoo or a theme park, or a 30-60 second timed “shopping spree” at a store of their choice.

Special gift: Something with meaning or a personal connection, like a figurine or ornament to commemorate a special moment you shared, a signed baseball from a favorite player, or other hard-to-find collectible

Shopping suggestions

• Something to do: a puzzle, building set, tickets to an event, a slack line/ninja course
• Something to eat: a personal stash of a favorite snack, “fruit (or wine!) of the month” club subscription, or homemade dessert just for them
• Something for the family: A voucher for a “yes day” (within a certain monetary limit), a vacation, or something for everyone to use, like a trampoline or pool table.

Shopping suggestions

• Something used: the best “used” gifts are family heirlooms, but in lieu of a treasured family hand-me-down, try thrifting or buying used! Especially if your person is into collecting older video games, toys, or books that are out of print.
  
  (Pssst, Ebay is your friend, if your kid is into YouTube Kids and obsessively watches old videos of toy unboxings. Ask me how I know.)
  
• Something made: a handprint card for grandparents, a crocheted scarf, or homemade cinnamon-scented “gingerbread men” ornaments … something my niece and nephew made for us one year and they are still treasured ornaments on our tree!
  
• Something to play: a new board or card game (this one is our family’s current favorite), video game, or even a musical instrument!

The 10 gift rule Christmas list might be longer than the others, but by specifically adding things meant to be enjoyed together, given away, or done for others it is embracing celebrating with experiences as a family, which will be meaningful long into the future (and—bonus!—prevent cluttering up the playroom.)

Shopping suggestions

• An adventure to take: Gift cards for a trip to Disney World, a cruise, tickets to see a favorite musical together, or even just a special nature walk through the woods together.
  
• Something to surprise them: Maybe there is something they’ve been wanting for ages and is hard to find … and you found one. (PS5, anyone?) Or maybe it is a visit they don’t know about but you’ve got planned to show up for the holidays.
  
• Something to give to others: Get the kids to help you shop for an Angel Tree kid, or take fresh produce to a food bank. Make stovetop simmer packets for your neighbors. Get creative!
  
• Something to do for others: Go caroling as a family, volunteer with a local ministry or non-profit as a family, or make a tiny acts of kindness bucket list to complete together this season.

Christmas Gift Rules for Families

What if your whole extended family wants to create Christmas gift rules? Families who share gifts with more than just their own kids or partners could benefit from coming up with their own rules.

A quick Pinterest search will find an abundance of ideas, but some of the most common include:

• Each family gives gifts to all the other family members. When families are close, some like to give gifts to everyone, keeping things more traditional. This method is best for small families, or those without lots of kids yet.
  
  PRO: Everyone gets presents!
  CON: Can be costly, if families are larger.
  
• Each family gives gifts to all the kids, but refrains from spending on the grown ups. This method is good for families with multiple adult children with families who still like to gather as one big group to open presents, but without the additional financial burden of getting things for all the grown ups.
  
  PRO: You get to spoil your nieces and nephews or grandkids
  CON: If you’re the sibling with the fewest kids, you will be buying more presents than the others need to for your child/ren. And if you are the grandparent or child-free adult in the family, you will be giving without receiving in return.
  
• Everyone draws names and each family member gives one present of a certain dollar amount or less to one other member of the family.
  
  PRO: You are limited to only one present, which is more budget-friendly
  CON: You might draw Great Aunt Mabel who never likes anything anyone gives her
  
• Only the kids draw names to exchange gifts with each other, so all the cousins get a present
  
  PRO: You don’t have to add the grown-ups to your budget
  CON: You may end up being the family that purchases the most gifts if you have the most kids
  
• Play a group gifting game where nobody is gifted anything specifically for them, but instead a game is played by all to unwrap presents.
  
  PRO: Can be hilarious with the right group of people and sufficient good humor
  CON: Feelings can get hurt if someone gets upset, or people may refuse to “steal” and therefore the game is less entertaining

Of course, there are many other ideas! Choosing which gift giving rule will work best for your own extended family is a personal decision.

Christmas Gift Rules for Couples

If you don’t have children, or just want to do something special with your partner, consider trying following some of these couple’s gift rules for Christmas:

• Follow the same four gift rule for kids, or one of its variations listed previously
• Give one big wish-list item and then smaller, personalized gifts based on what you know your partner would appreciate
• Choose a theme for your gifts (i.e. travel, culinary items, sentimental, technology)
• Choose an upgrade you both want for your home and splurge on that (this might be more exciting when you’ve been married a long time.)
• Skip the physical gifts; book a bucket-list travel destination
• Try celebrating a no-spend Christmas and come up with creative ways to surprise and delight your partner with handmade or recycled/reused items, romantic letters, acts of service, and non-physical gifts like handpicked playlists
• Pre-plan (like, arrange for a babysitter and everything) 3-4 dates you know your partner would really enjoy throughout the year, and then give them a small wrapped token to represent the date for the reveal. (Hat tip to the amazing Kristina Kuzmic for this idea! My husband and I did this a couple of years ago after I saw her talking about it, and we loved it.)

Rules for Christmas Gift Exchange

Ahh, but what if you’re giving gifts to people in a large group? What are the gift rules for a Christmas gift exchange, say, for an office holiday party or among members of a club or a large extended family? Say no more. I got you.

For this, the best solution is either drawing names OR playing some kind of game for the gifts.

Here are some gift exchange rules, Christmas edition, for your perusal and inspiration:

• Draw a name, and gift it from yourself
• Draw a name, but gift it as a Secret Santa
• White elephant / Dirty Santa gift exchange
• Bring gifts to win as prizes for Minute to Win It style game competitions
• Theme-based gifts (everyone brings an ornament, or a gift card, “most bizarre item” under $5, or a favorite snack, etc.)
• Cookie exchanges

Why Use Gift Rules for Christmas?

Gift rules help avoid holiday stress by providing a convenient, simple framework for gift giving.

When you choose one of these gift rules that fits your family’s values, you’ll:

Wrapping It All Up

(Yes, pun intended.)

You don’t have to follow Christmas gift-giving rules, but if you’re looking for something to help make shopping easier this year, consider picking one of the gift rules listed above.

Whether your choose three, four, five or more types of presents to give your family members, or opt for a gift exchange for extended family, you really can’t go wrong.

Any of these gift rule ideas offers a unique way to make the season special without losing sight of true holiday spirit. By picking one to simplify your shopping list, you can focus on creating memories while ensuring each gift is truly valued.

For Additional Reading: Our Best Clutter-Free Gift Ideas for Kids

Looking for even more ideas to help fill out any of these Christmas gift rule lists? I’ve got you covered! Try out these suggestions, and download our free guide HERE.